A client once asked me, “How as a woman and as an African-American woman do you handle all of the stress and pressure that come with that?” The client was referring to the glass ceiling, racism and bigotry, sexism, a woman’s role in a heterosexual relationship, motherhood stress and more. My response was, “with the many personal growth challenges that every individual has (including myself), it is self-destructive to carry and internalize others’ dissenting beliefs.”
Hence, I choose not to lug around others’ issues, even if society pressures me that it should be my issue.
A simple rule of thumb is, don’t view your personal gifts (aka, the unchangeable parts of you) as problems. What you should do is accept who you are as a gift or blessing. Being a woman and whatever race you are, are gifts of uniqueness. How you choose to accept, learn from and grow your gifts can improve your connection with yourself and others.
When you start viewing gifts as problems, you start attracting issues that you normally would not have attracted. When this happens, it is time to reprogram your belief system so your thoughts and actions work for your greater good. One way to reprogram your thoughts is to meditate and say to yourself, “I am grateful that I am a female and am X race. I appreciate my diversity and uniqueness.” You should recite this numerous times every day, and avoid actions that counter these thoughts.
Once you start believing the statements, start reprogramming yourself even deeper by further defining what you appreciate. Perhaps attest to the great traits that you have and or desire to have, like, “I am grateful for my wonderful abilities to nurture, multitask, lead, understand multiple cultures, and relate to and engage with diverse people.” This helps you embrace your inner beauty, plus gain confidence and conviction that are rooted in self-love. Accepting such beliefs empower you to transcend cultural limitations and act for your betterment.
As wonderful as this sounds, I can hear my clients murmuring, “but what about the glass ceiling?” My response, “Yes it is true there are glass ceilings.” However, some females have not experienced a glass ceiling, because they do not believe in a ceiling or limits. They just keep doing what it takes to achieve their goals. When you believe in limits you have a greater propensity to attract those very limits. It is better to believe in yourself, be focused and diligent, and seize opportunities.
Regarding being a minority, yes, there is racism and separatism. Yet, it is best to be proactive for change from a mental place of power, then reactive from a place of victimization. Freeing yourself from society’s limiting beliefs strengthens your position of influence.
So set yourself free from paralyzing negativity by accepting your diversity as “gifts,” increasing your awareness, broadening your understanding, expanding your support network, and maintaining a proactive approach for positive social change. You will gain clarity and take effective actions to navigate, lessen, reduce or end social challenges. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr’s accomplishments are a solid example of what self-love, a broad understanding and a positive proactive approach can achieve.
Remember, you attract what you believe, how you behave, and lessons for your growth. Take control of your life by taking control of you. Empower yourself to a position of strength by accepting challenges as growth opportunities, and broadening your understanding and acceptance of yourself and others. Isn’t it time you shift social burdens to being issues that you lessen or overcome?
Wishing you happiness.